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Pen to paper.Pen to paper, I write a thought
Single list of what has been taught
Lessons handed down by life
Leaving marks in me like a knife
Through blood, sweat, and tears
I have lost hope to my own fears
Yet on my knees I still build
Building what is left unfulfilled
Close to finish, but never done
I slave under the moon and sun
The cold is my sign that I live
Cold driven by fear, I survive
I keep moving, trying to move past
But I as start the unknown comes fast
Suffocating me till I yield to it
Taking from me, leaving my wrists slit
Blood pours forth as my ink
With each written word, makes link
A link tying me to this paper
As I write my last word, I am gone in a vapor
False DreamsAs we meet within the false sense of dreams
I hold past knowledge, about to bust at the seams
Emotions not felt for years come like new
I can say that you are truly rare and few
I stand cold and numb to this
I know the feeling of hatred and bliss
But I feel only nothing but remorse
Is this hell or heaven, a repeat or recourse
I fall to my knees as blood covers my hands
Heavy soul and body, as if covered in iron bands
As I stare at you, I stand up
You come to me silently and hand me a cup
Filled with blood and tears
From only what of love's taught fears
I drink hoping this will destroy the past
Everything grows dark suddenly and fast
Only to see your angelic face drift away
Encased by the night, left by the immortal day
I fall into the darkness of my own self hell
Nothing fills my core, as I hear only a single bell
I beg to know what is a dream and what is real
I want no more lies, just what is true, i want to feel
For so long I have numb myself to protect
Only to hold off the pain unti
As we dance in black upon starsAs we dance in black upon stars
Music and lights, ease the scars
staring not into the nothingness
but into your eyes full of happiness
above the earthly heaven
we beyond our ether seven
as space and time swirls around
we behold nothing but loves sound
hearts beat as one
to be bathed light of moon and sun
life stands still as we drift to the unknown
the last of light fading leaves your face
leaving only the darkness in its place
Yet like a flame your blue eyes shine
like emeralds, I know your mine
we drift, whispering love, to me you call
as like a shooting star together we free fall
The Green tree....The Green tree...
As a young woman sat beside a green tree
She said goodbye to a young man off to war
To meet near the tree, they swore
She always said my love will come back to me
She sat there unwavering for many of years
She would sing of her love to fight the fears
The locals were cruel and mocked her song
But she still she sang for him who her heart belong
As the years went on the woman sat there
From gold to a silver color changed her hair
She never wept nor gave up, as she sat under the tree
The locals told stories of how once was her beauty
The tree grew old and died, the woman still sat and wait
Still waiting for her most beloved, one and only mate
After years of waiting a song bird came with note
It told of her love and how he went down with the boat
She smiled as she closed her eyes as her life came to an end
She stood up and went to where the tree once stood for years then
Her chest grew and burst forth with limbs, branches, and a trunk of a green tree
Her time of waiting h
As we float in the love of ourAs we float in the love of ours
Time is lost in the hours
So close in our lovers hold
But to others, this is too bold
Close minds keep us in dark
Dirty looks as we sit in the park
Muttering hateful speech as we kiss
Making it anger instead of bliss
So let us sail to the moon
And return not too soon
Not until the world can love as one
Until then we will watch the moon and sun
Rise and fall over and over
So let us wish on this four leaf clover
And hope it grants our needed wish
To the black space with a silent swish.
VD poemTaunted by the past, I now live in fear
I am left dried and to weep not a tear
I hang my head ever so low
I carried on for one I didn't know
I stumbled like a drunk across her
At first with the pain I couldn't be sure
But slowly in secret I gained the strength
As my knowledge her grew in length
The past still I bear and carry with me
But with her I know I am free as I can be
With each passing trail of my soul
She was the glue to keep me whole
So calmed the storm within my head
She gave life to what I thought was dead
My heart beats with the sound of her voice
When i see her. I can do nothing be rejoice
I gained the courage to confront the past
As for the war isn't over, I still hold fast
With her at my side I shall never waver
For I can never repay the favor
The favor she did in saving my life
I can do only so much, so I made her my wife
Until death do us part and beyond
She shall be my love ever so fond
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply giv
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
BeautyI'd rather wear flowers in my hair,
forming a delicate chain
Than diamonds around my neck,
covering my tender blue veins
For with every precious petal
and every lucent leaf
I'm a living lesson
teaching beauty can not be bought
But rather it grows and flourishes
with every living thought
Expensive LiesI sit and stare at the toilet bowl.
A guy I know is bulimic.
When we compliment him
I see the twist of agony in his eyes
as his brain reprograms it
to sound like an expensive lie
that costs him another tear
in his tattered dignity.
Friends hurry to him,
to reassure him, to love him.
They tell him how beautiful he is.
We didn't know him before,
but he's definitely not fat now.
We whisper things in concern like;
body dysmorphic disorder.
'I know you'll never believe me
but you are so gorgeous -
not just on the inside.' Not just.
And they're right, I join in,
because they are right to say it
because it happens to be true -
he is stunning. Not just on the outside.
And we want him to see himself
the way we see him, beautiful.
And I join in because
I've felt that strangle of pain
in my stomach, bowels and belly,
when someone used to tell me lies.
So I know how he feels.
Only, he is beautiful on the outside
and I'm not.
He's not seeing reality in the mirror
and I am.
And people rush to correc
Fearing MeI'm not afraid to cry
and I do it
a lot more than you would guess.
It isn't always sadness,
I just feel like I need to,
feel everything so strongly
that it's the only way
to let go for a moment
because if I hold on for too long,
if my grip gets too tight
I'll break myself,
I will break you like glass
and we will both
I am a good guy
who hasn't yet found a way
to show it,
I am a good guy
who still identifies with the villains,
hides everything important
anything to throw you
off of my trail....
and I don't know why,
but I am trying.
Maybe I think
that if you could see me,
the real me,
you wouldn't want to look anymore,
want to be anywhere near me,
and the idea
that I can't add up
to be enough for you,
to be enough for me,
is so fucking heart breaking
I can hardly fathom it.
I can't say that it doesn't hurt
because it does,
it hurts a whole hell of a lot,
I've come to depend on pain,
to befriend misery
you're just a question marki met you so long ago
but back then our bodies were made of metal
and nowadays they’re made of the blades of
grass and dirt settling
underneath my fingernails.
my fingers are having a hard time
reaching the keys and
my organs are shaking mostly because i haven’t
eaten in two days but also
because i’m worried about the things you're doing to yourself.
we didn’t meet very long ago at all but it feels like forever ago
and you say you don’t know me
that you don’t know anyone
but baby you're turning into a skeleton and i’m peeling back my skin
to try and reach my bones, just like you.
i hope you're happy,
i’m covering the hard wood floors now
the bits and pieces splattered.
they are calling it a suicide but i’m calling it
a way to see my brain and
just how dark it has become, and honestly
i don’t want you to try and see about your’s.
i’m mourning the loss of my heart and wish you weren’t either -
Black hole BulimicThe Composition:
I birth poems — not amaranths
in graveyards — not gardens.
sows seeds of doubt
into skeleton weeds.
A farmer plucks the bones
from Apollo's hyacinth; his
I binge on broken
cracked collectors of rocks,
of pebbles kidnapped
from barren beaches:
where crooked kings
buried in books whose
pages creak to crickets
in an abandoned abyss
of an attic—caskets on
an antiquated shelf. I
choke on the dust and
twitch in recoil.
The bickering sky
A cloud coughs—
The clock's scythe hand
swivels to the beckoning
twelve. Spastic ticking—
each bleak stroke
of a midnight heart.
The sundials do not work
now. The vampires know
I kill poems—
obligation steam machineas always
grinding the cankerous
of your cognition
until the lack of compassion
leaves you unlubricated
seized frozen bound stuck
only then the machine of
your fears will burst to steam
squealing to suckle
at the genius of my
the unsung soiled hero
of middle-class ferocity
savior of the undeserving
winding slowly deftly dying
martyr to the self-justified cause
Sound PoemIthrumden, ithrumden delsum
nith mul thruss elmrissull.
Eth rut mundelliss
Curmiette dessel renrin
irme trell ithrumden.
as love for summer fades.late morning-
there's the tease of
snow in the clouds,
in the air, and the trees
have finally lost their
the sunlight is damp.
alters the room
as it graces my skin,
and for once
i don't wake up right away.
instead i lay
between my memory bitten
sheets, and i think
about all the times he said
that he hated winter.
i don't remember
when i began to love it,
and i don't care.
nothing can shatter that.
X_XI slump down against the wall to the floor
I sit there apathetic, head hitting against the door
I hear your voice full of concern sound
It's the eleventh time, each one is like one more wound
My skin bear the scars of battle and fears
I lay alone in a room so cold, my wrists leaking tears
I am so lost and confused by all that is not me
I am resolved to sit in the corner and let it be
So I lay down the knife
As I about to silence this life
I am going back home to be free again
Back to where I was happy and not full of sin
Forgive me and I promise this is for the best
So please don't worry, and get some rest
I shall be gone in the morning
When you get the call, please no mourning
For I will be in a much better place
It would be better if you forget me, leave no trace
So close your weary eyes and sleep
For soon I will six feet deep.
AerosolIt has been a day and a half since the crash, and I have found a cabin. In some ways, this is a relief. I don’t know if I could face another night on the mountain without shelter. Outside, a fire does no good: the heat simply travels upwards. However, this place also raises some difficult questions. I estimate that I’ve put eight miles between myself and the crash site. I don’t know if this will be enough. It Saving...
occurs to me that I don’t really know anything.
The survival manual recommends staying with the plane. It explains that this affords the best chance of rescue. It explains that the wreckage offers warmth and shade. It explains that seventy percent of pilots who stay are located within three days, while seventy percent of those who leave are
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