Swinging

As I breathe cold air into me
I tried to stay sober to just be
They tell me that I will be fine
But demons tell me to cross a line
One drink, one sip won't hurt
Everything seems like dirt
It doesn't matter what I do
To end it all without a clue
I want to disappear into the air
Leaving this place with no care
I want to say I am sorry to you
But we both know that isn't true
Empty words echo in my head
I speak them and they fall like lead
I want someone to talk to again
To get from out of this tight skin
The night brings me these thoughts
Each idea is made of different knots
I can't unravel it all as it forms a noose
Please come, I need to be cut loose
I am close to not breathing tonight
Peace isn't what I feel, it's not right
My war has come home and I am alone
I can't call, no one is answering the phone
Please cut me down from this fear
I am calling out, my voice can you hear
I feel nothing, I am sorry I couldn't just be
Love, hate, fear is the unknown that is me